Mother’s Love as the Basis of Child Development Essay

Parents are the first social environment for the development of the child, ensuring the satisfaction of almost all of his needs, including the need for love and affection. Moreover, parental love is the driving force of the effective development of the child and it contributes to the satisfaction of all the child’s vital needs. It is natural that a mother’s and a father’s love are the constituent parts (manifestations) of the holistic phenomenon of parental love; they are in unity, defining parental love as some kind of integrity. However, in the process of cultural and historical development of a man, the most important spiritual ties, including love for children, are often mastered under the dominant role of the mother. It seems that there is nothing greater than a mother’s love because a mother’s love is the first and most important for the child side of parental love. Thus, the question I posed for this research paper is the following: “How important is a mother’s love to the development of a child?” For the purpose to explore this issue better, I created the thesis statement that is the following: a mother’s love is crucial to a child’s development in many aspects such as emotionally, physically, and socially.

To begin, thinking about personal experience, I need to say that my mother is the best person I know. She always helps me to become better and demonstrates her love in many ways, beginning with routine daily care and ending with extra support in difficult moments in my life. I know that my mother has been through so much throughout her life, but yet has still shown me so much love in her every word and smile. Naturally, I can remember many moments of the demonstration of my mother’s love, and I am going to use them as some specific examples for the purpose to research the main issue of this research paper better.

Exploring the relationship between maternal love and a child’s cognitive development, it is possible to state that a mother’s love is important to the development of a child’s brain. Moreover, in the literature, much attention is paid to describing the consequences of maternal deprivation for the development of the child’s personality. Studies have shown that deprivation of maternal care usually leads to a delay in the child’s development – physical, intellectual, social, and symptoms of physical and mental illness may appear. Parental deprivation is the main cause of psychogenic pathology, and low self-esteem is one of its first results. For example, Jim Dryden’s in his article “Mom’s Love Good for Child’s Brain,” stated that “school-age children whose mothers nurtured them early in life have brains with a larger hippocampus, a key structure important to learning, memory and response to stress” (Dryden, 2012).

Moreover, it can be also added that communication of the child with the mother in the first year of his life forms the basic trust or distrust in relation to the world. In these interactions, it is important that babies begin to detect a certain sequence, predictability and reliability in the actions of their guardians. When they feel that the parent is consistent and reliable, they develop a sense of basic trust in him. An alternative is a feeling of mistrust, a feeling that the parent is unpredictable and unreliable and may not be there when it is necessary. Trust, therefore, is the feeling that other people are reliable and predictable.

Fortunately, my mother was always taking care of me and I am sure that I can easily cope with all the hardships on my way. Owing to my mother, I believe in people, their good inner motives and know that it is better to trust the world around and achieve success than to wait for some changes, being afraid of making first steps. I know that I can cope with stress situations effectively even remembering my mother’s words that stress is such a thing that kills faster bullets, while we either make ourselves unhappy, or make ourselves strong. The amount of effort is the same, but the result is quite different.

Considering the fact that a mother’s love is important to the emotional development of children, it can be said that family can be both a powerful factor in the development of emotional and psychological support for the person, as well as a source of mental trauma and associated with various personal disorders: neuroses, psychoses, psychosomatic diseases, and behavioral abnormalities. A person is sensitive to the family atmosphere throughout his life, but the family has the greatest influence on the child because it is a developing person who still needs care and proper guidance. For example, in Alexandra Murphy’s article, “Parental Influence on the Emotional Development of Children,” there was a quote that stated, “children see how their parents display emotions and interact with other people, and they imitate what they see their parents do to regulate emotions” (Murphy, 2014). It means that in the family, the child’s attitude to the own personality and people around is formed. It is the primary socialization of the individual because family helps to master the first social roles and puts the basic values ​​of life into a child’s head. In such a way, parents have a natural influence on their children through the mechanisms of imitation, identification and internalization of images of parental behavior.

Being specific in examples, I can say that the way I act is a direct correlation to my parents. I have watched them carry themselves in day-to-day life ever since I was young, and I am nineteen now, so a very long time. For example, my mom and dad are very nice and polite people, but they can also be passive when it comes to conflict, so they tend to get pushed around sometimes. I have developed that emotional trait not necessarily, because I wanted too, it was because I have watched them for so many years that I developed it unknowingly. It is a well-known fact that children are often similar to their parents in many personal traits, as well as emotional sphere of a child is also has many in common with the same area in the parents’ characters. Thus, some of my deeds are often saturated with those emotions, which were demonstrated in my family.

In Charles Smith’s article, “A Powerful Connection: Mother-Child Bond Plays Role In Child’s Growth, Development,” there was a quote that stated, “…mom’s going to be the one to make you feel better because she’s going to love and hold you and maybe even feel a little bit of that hurt with you” (Smith, 2011). Explaining this statement, it can be mentioned that the specificity of maternal love is in its unconditional nature. The mother is a symbol of nurturing and is the person we go to when we need help. Every person feels the need for unconditional maternal love. The mother loves her child healthy and sick, successful and unsuccessful, beautiful and ugly, talented and mediocre. Mother will always understand all the problems and sufferings of her child. She loves her child not because he fulfilled a social condition or justified hopes, but because it is her child.

For the purpose to illustrate the previous statements with some real-life examples, I want to mention that in my own life, my mother has been my cornerstone and my rock. She has always been there for me when I had issues and took care of them, often ignoring her own to make sure I was okay. That bond we have together is something I will always cherish and I hope I have a similar relationship with my children when I have some of my own. Thus, I believe that a mother-child bond plays a huge role in the child’s growth and development.

Having continued to research the issue of my interest, there was found that Tali Shahar-Maharik, David Oppenheim, and Nina Koren-Karie in their article “Adolescent Insightfulness Toward a Close Friend: Its Roots in Maternal Insightfulness and Child Attachment in Infancy,” stated that “… adolescents were more likely to show insightfulness toward their friend when their mothers had been insightful toward them when they were infants and when they had secure attachment with their mothers” (Shahar-Maharik, Oppenheim and Koren-Karie, 2018). Analyzing this statement, it is good to note that for a child’s mental health, relationship with the mother should bring mutual joy and warmth from the early childhood. The relationship between the child and the mother is conditioned by the expressed need of the baby to be in a close contact with the person who cares for him. The development of mental and motor functions is associated with the development of ways to achieve proximity to the mother. This proximity provides security, allows a child to be engaged in research activities, helping to adapt to new situations easily. Hence, the need for closeness is the basic need of the child.

In the article written by Amirshamsi, “Forecast Welfare Psychological Wellbeing of Children Based on Child Rearing Methods by Parents and Family Communication Patterns”, there was a statement that “family educational environment is one of the most pivotal in maintaining mental health, social and physical person has an important role” (Amirshamsi, 2016). Having a very positive experience of communication with my parents, I need to mention that some people are not as lucky in family relationships as I am because many people have experienced a lack of maternal love in their childhood and unfortunately, absence of maternal love or its deprivation often causes negative consequences for the child’s personal development. In addition, different specialists have proved that absence of a mother’s love may lead to different problems in mental, physical, emotional and sociocultural development of an adult person because all problems of an adult person have their roots in the childhood. In such a way, children devoid of maternal love are distinguished by emotional coldness and an inability to experience love and affection.

Children tend to be more empathetic towards their friends because of the love they were shown when they were infants. I personally think this is true. I had a very secure attachment to my mother when I was younger and learned empathy from her. My early personal experience has passed into my adolescent stage and I am very insightful and empathetic towards my friends. I would do anything for my friends and really care about them. I think the reason is hidden in the fact that my mother cared for me very good when I was younger. It means that adolescents who are insightful can be related to a secure attachment style with their mother when they were infants.

In Jan Antfolk’s and Agneta Sjölund’s article “High Parental Investment in Childhood is Associated with Increased Mate Value in Adulthood,” there was a quote that stated, “we found that high PI in childhood was associated with increased MV in adulthood” (Antfolkab and Sjölund, 2018). Exploring the article, it can be confidently asserted that the psychosocial environment has a significant influence on the development of the child, allowing parents to prepare their child for the creation of the own family in future. The lack of love and parental investments in the early years of life entails an emotional underdevelopment of a person. The personality that is formed as a result of deprivation of parental love can be characterized by a sense of inner emptiness; such a person has a need to be cared for, which puts a person in dependence, as well as a passionate desire for contact and intimacy. Such people are personally immature and the desire to create a strong family is not fully developed in them.

Reinforcing the above said with my personal experience, I want to note that in my own life, I have had a high parental investment in my childhood and I am confident in myself as a person and what I can offer to a girl who I want to potentially date. I think that my clear life position is a good confirmation that caring education from the early age has a positive impact on the development of the child.

In the article “Children With Poor Attachment To Their Parents: Explanatory Variables as a Function of Their Perception of Their Parents’ Behavior” written by Miguel Clemente and Zara Elena Diaz there was a quote that stated, “we verified that willingness to help the children, not using negative control, and adequate communication are the main explanatory factors of adequate attachment” (Clemente and Diaz, 2018). My parents did a great job of raising me. They allowed me to make my own mistakes and did not constantly control me so I would not get hurt. They wanted me to experience pain, so I could learn to overcome it. Being a hearing-impaired kid, they instilled into me that nothing will come easy and people won’t feel bad for you, so you will have to work that much harder for what you want. They constantly filled me up with love and compassion, so I never felt alone and always knew they would be on my side.

In summary, I have researched many issues associated with different sides of a mother’s love and have realized that a mother’s love is a complex and multifaceted psychological reality that embraces parents and children, their relationships, personal attitudes, emotions, attitudes and much more. It is a fact that parental love is given to the parent as an experience, which is associated with a contradictory emotional reflection of the object, the phenomenon, the internal state (in this case the image of the child) and acts as an immediate reality. In such a way, it is possible to conclude that a mother’s love is crucial to a child’s development in many aspects such as emotionally, physically, and socially. I strongly believe that if it were not for my mother, I would not be the same person I am today. Thus, parental love acts as a part of education, contributing to the development of man as a person, a full member of society, capable of creating a family, as a unit of that social community in which he lives, thereby supporting and developing it.

Works Cited

Amirshamsi, E., et al. “Forecast Welfare Psychological Wellbeing of Children Based on Child Rearing Methods by Parents and Family Communication Patterns”. Indian Journal of Positive Psychology, vol. 7, no. 1, March 2016.

Antfolkab, J. and Sjölund, A. “High Parental Investment in Childhood is Associated with Increased Mate Value in Adulthood.” Personality and Individual Differences, vol. 127, no. 1, 2018, pp. 144-150.

Clemente, M. and Diaz, Z. “Children with poor attachment to their parents: Explanatory variables as a function of their perception of their parents’ behavior.” Children and Youth Services Review, Elsevier, vol. 87(C), pp. 140-144, 2018.

Dryden, J. “Mom’s love good for child’s brain.” Washington University in St. Louis, 2012. available at https://source.wustl.edu/2012/01/moms-love-good-for-childs-brain/

Murphy, A. “Parental Influence on the Emotional Development of Children.” Developmental Pychology at Vanderbilt, 2014. Available at https://my.vanderbilt.edu/developmentalpsychologyblog/2014/05/parental-influence-on-the-emotional-development-of-children/

Shahar-Maharik, T., Oppenheim, D. and Koren-Karie, N. “Adolescent insightfulness toward a close friend: its roots in maternal insightfulness and child attachment in infancy.” Attach Hum Dev., vol. 20, no. 3, 2018, pp. 237-254. Available at https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/29513066

Smith, C. “A Powerful Connection: Mother-Child Bond Plays Role In Child’s Growth, Development.” Kansas State University, 2011. Available at https://www.k-state.edu/media/newsreleases/may11/motherchild50611.html

The terms offer and acceptance. (2016, May 17). Retrieved from

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"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

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"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

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