The Impact of Divorce Upon Children Essay

  • Desai, J.D. How Could Divorce Affect My Kids? 2013

This article describes different approaches to the practice of divorce and its potential impact upon children. There is an opinion that it is better to have divorced parents, than to live in a family with negative atmosphere, if the relations of parents are spoilt already.

 

  • Hansen, L. 9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children, 2013

The author listed the most often met negative effects, which divorce of parents has upon their children. Based on statistical data from various institutes and researchers, the author analyses these effects and their consequences.

 

  • The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents. Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce, 2011

Usually the impact of divorce upon children is discussed generally, without paying special attention to the age of concrete child; however, it turned out that the age plays vitally important role in the perception of this event.

 

This is a huge mistake to think that divorce is a tragedy only for a married couple, children of the divorced couple usually suffer even more. Divorce of the parents is a serious test for a boy or a girl of any age. For them it is really difficult to realize that the love between their parents has disappeared and that the moment has come, when they would have to adjust to life in different households or maybe even with different people, with constant absence of one of the parents. At the same time there is an opinion that it is better to live with one of the parents after their separation, than to live in the state of constant conflicts, if parents are trying to continue living together for the sake of their children only. Thus divorce of the parents has definitely a serious impact upon children of any age; there are a lot of controversial issues, related to divorce and consequences for children.

The position of the proponents of divorce is based upon the belief that if parents are not happy in their marriage, then children are not happy either. In other words, if parents can not live together in the way, they used to live, if they don’t experience the same love and respect towards each other any more, than divorce would be the best option for them, as well as for their children. However, the modern statistical research proves that this assumption was still not correct, as children do suffer in case their parents take the decision to split up. By the way, divorce in most cases is not the best option for the parents either. The statistics of the emotional trauma, experience by children, in case of their parents’ divorce was described by therapist Steven Earll: “Parents, who have given the children life, are perceived by the children as very competent people with supernatural abilities to meet the needs of the children. No problem should be too great for their parents to handle. For a child, divorce shatters this basic safety and belief concerning the parents’ abilities to care for them and to make decisions that truly consider their well-being.” (Desai 2013). A lot of adults do not realize, why divorce is so traumatic, they don’t understand that children are absolutely sure that the only correct variant of family relations is possible, when their parents are living together, because they are their Mom and Dad. Most of the other cases are seen as betrayal by them.

It was already mentioned that children suffer morally from divorce irrespective of their age, still there are some differences in the perception of the situation in various age groups, according to the research done. Small children have the tendency to react a bit differently to the divorce, than those, who have already entered the adolescence stage. The main difference lies in the fact that “divorce tends to intensify the child’s dependence and it tends to accelerate the adolescent’s independence; it often elicits a more regressive response in the child and a more aggressive response in the adolescent.” (Desai 2013).). Small children don’t want to accept the reality, how it is, they continue to dream that one day comes and the parents will be together again. Adolescents often react to this fact with a portion of aggression; they become distanced and become more self-centered, than before. The usual feeling of autonomy is enforced by his feeling of disconnection from the family members.

Another prove of the negative impact of divorce of parents upon their children is the number of negative effects, which are revealed afterwards. Each situation is unique, still there are general effects of it, which could be singled out. One of the researches, done by the University Wisconsin – Madison stated that children from the families, where parents divorced, have worse social skills and are behind their peers in their studies. Some of them risk even dropping out of schools, which certainly has further negative effects upon their habits and formation of their adult personalities. For example smoking or alcohol abuse are the habits, which according to statistical research are often developed exactly among children from unhappily divorced families. In many cases health problems of the children are also related to their family situations. Stress from parents’ divorce influences their mental and physical state of health. “In 2010, researchers from the University of Toronto found a strong link between divorce and adult risk of stroke. However, the vast majority of adults whose parents divorced did not have strokes” (Hansen 2013). In cases, when divorce of parents causes a flow of aggression in children, especially adolescents, there are high risks of further involvement in crimes. Some kids take the decision to commit suicide. Finally, negative experience with divorced parents could influence the future married life of these children, even in cases of stable and good relations with their partners, they reveal a higher tendency towards getting divorced.

Overall, the issues, related to the problem of children’s perception of their parents’ divorce are rather sophisticated and controversial, there are a lot of risks and negative consequences, which need to be considered and in the best cases avoided.

 

Works cited:

Amato, P.R.  Life-span adjustment of children to their parents’ divorce. Future of Children, 1994

Desai, J.D. How Could Divorce Affect My Kids? 2013

Hansen, L. 9 negative effects divorce reportedly has on children, 2013

 The Impact of Divorce on Young Children and Adolescents. Young children and adolescents can respond differently to divorce, 2011

The terms offer and acceptance. (2016, May 17). Retrieved from

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016.

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

freeessays.club (2016) The terms offer and acceptance [Online].
Available at:

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]

"The terms offer and acceptance." freeessays.club, 17 May 2016

[Accessed: March 28, 2024]
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